Black Ink Music
A Space to Be heard
A Space to Be heard
"Why do you always vanish, i'm in love with a ghost" Where Are You Now officially debuted on Wednesday and it has been so nice to be releasing new music. In January of 2020, I made my annual list of goals for the year and releasing new music was on that list. It has been two years since I've officially put out music, but that's not to say I haven't been busy during that time. I'm continuing to build the brand, enhancing my skills, and of course, writing. The first verse of this song was actually written four years ago when I was still a high school student. For some reason, I couldn't find the right way to finish the song until this Spring when I reflected on my college career and the lessons I've learned. There is a lot of fleeting-ness (is that a word?) in college when it comes to relationships (platonic and romantic). You'll quickly learn there are people you will be cool with for a semester and then never see again. It was this fleeting-ness (yes, I used it again, so now it is a word) that I wanted to bring into the song and that helped me finish writing it. The song is written from the perspective of a romantic relationship that ended just as quickly as it began. As always, I write songs by picturing mini "movies" in my head and below is the excerpt this song was built from: --- I was content with life. I was the one minding my business. You are the one that decided to interrupt the routine and seek me out. You came into my world and disrupted the status quo. With laughter, charm, and a smoldering smile you brought me out of the shadows and into a bright new sphere. It was glorious! It was enchantment! We would hold each other in our arms and dance around the living room, healing from our pasts with every turn and every breath. And then as quick as you came, you left with what felt like no warning. I was so consumed with the magic of us that I didn't feel you disappear. And now I'm left holding on to a feeling. I'm alone but I still sway to the melody.--- Misunderstood was actually released in May 2018 as part of a collaborative album, called The Sampler. The song didn't receive any independent promotion, though, so I thought I would re-introduce the track to everyone. This song serves as the bridge between my "Demo Tapes" era and my debut album era (which is currently in the works). I actually wrote this entire song after attending a talent show at my university. I distinctly remember walking back to my dorm room after the show, sitting down at a crappy wooden desk, and laying down the entire instrumental and lyrics in four hours. The lyrics detail the speaker's surprise at finally encountering someone so similar to themselves and the adventure that ensues. This was also my first crack at producing a music video. It took forever and the illustrated route is definitely not something I'm going to try again. Since this, though, I have been building up my portfolio of live action shots for music videos for my debut album. --- I’m standing in the front row. You are standing center stage. Our eyes meet. The crowd is sonorous; jumping and clambering over each other. You reach out and brush my outstretched hands. I shiver because the touch is electric. You kneel and begin to play your electric guitar. We maintain eye contact. The tension begins to grow in the crowd and it becomes beautifully chaotic. We maintain eye contact. --- --- For so long I’ve never allowed myself to feel anything deeper than the surface for another person. Romantic relationships, love, and all that jazz were just not a part of my world. And I think it was because I had to learn to love myself before I could love someone else. It was Lauryn Hill that said, “How you gonna win, when you ain’t right within?” I felt and needed that. Now I’m ready though. I want to feel love the way everybody else has. I want to feel the touch of someones lips and memorize a persons fingertips. Yes, I’m ready. --- --- The worst part about freedom of speech is the rumors. The false sentences that roll off of peoples' tongues and into the ears of neighbors. The best part of freedom of speech is being able to voice your love for the ones closest to you. Telling them how they create butterflies in your stomach every time you see them. Telling them how important they are and how everything will be okay. It’s the act of being there for them through your words that is the best part. It doesn’t matter what outsiders think because they are just that - on the outside. The world of you two is all that matters. --- --- The big bad wolf and his ride or die are wrecking havoc on the west coast. Disrupting normality with pounding music, loud singing, and cryptic dancing. A gated fence tries to block your view but you still see them. Laughing like they aren't insane. Swimming with money like they aren't worried. Secretly you wish to join them. You want to ride that wave they are on. You want to be so high that nothing can drag you down. They spot you. The man points you out. The woman waves to you. The freedom of anarchy whispers, "don't be afraid." You move the purple hibiscus plant out of your path and climb the fence. --- --- You think I'm your savior. The one sent by God to bring you out of the dark and into the light. I'm everything you want: educated, beautiful, independent, and loyal. I'm everything to you. Everything. Except for your savior. I'm not here to bring you from the ghetto into mainstream society. My arms are not strong enough to carry you and my heart is not open enough to give you want you need. You're obsessed with me when you should be running from me. There is nothing here for you. --- ---“And this would not be the moment I quit. No, I was not going to give up. There are things bigger than myself that I want to do. Things I want to accomplish for the greater good. I want to give back to my family and community. I want to build a future where my children are safe and free. I want to leave a legacy that I can be proud of. However, to get this done, I need to stay focused and persistent. I need to be strategic about every move I make and not get down when things don’t go my way. These let downs are lessons for the future. I must learn all I can from them and use them in my race to the finish line. The run will be long and it will be hard, but I was born for this. I was made with street feet.” --- --- Think back to when you were a teenager. Back to those late nights spent with your friends; bored but bound to create experiences you will always remember. It'd start with you laying on the bedroom floor of your best friend's room, on the verge of tears from boredom, and then the next second you're on top of the world, having the time of your life. Remember the first time you and your friends did something risky? Something that was consider wild and out of bounds by most people? But in the moment you didn't care because outsider opinions didn't matter? I bet it was an amazing feeling. Can you feel it now as you reminisce? It's called having no shame. You were free in that moment. You were shameless. --- This song is the introductory track off of my second demo. I wrote it to showcase my personality that is sometimes overlooked in the songs I write. That is not to mean the songs I write aren't real or how I feel. It's just that I write songs to tell stories. Some of the stories are mine and some of them are from people I know. I write them, though, for everyone to experience and relate to. That being said, the goofy/just messing around side of me can get lost behind the love songs, the sad songs, and the pop songs. Here is that side. |
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December 2020
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